Boots
by RegenesisX
Summary: In which Sephiroth acquires a new pair of boots and Reno inadvertently sets Hojo on fire. A sequel of sorts to "Socks." EDITED 6/30/2014


**Author's Note: **I got such a good response from Socks, that I decided to write a sequel. Prepare yourselves for the epic adventure of BOOTS!

_Edited 6/30/14_

* * *

><p><strong>Boots<strong>

_"But you don't know the way that you look when your steps make that much noise." ~ Mike Posner, Cooler Than Me_

Sephiroth sat perched on the edge of his bed, frowning down at his legs. The limbs had done nothing in particular to upset him; far from it. In fact, he would go so far as to say they were in more than perfect working order. No, his legs were not what had given him cause to actually express an _emotion_, let alone on his _face_ of all places. In order to get at the root of the problem perplexing the Silver General, one must delve into some of his personal habits and compare them to those of his two best friends.

Genesis grew up as a rich child, therefore tended towards frittering away his income on new clothes and fine foods, as well as really pointless things like glass apple paperweights and can openers.

Angeal grew up as a poor child, therefore was a _complete_ cheapskate. He'd never gotten quite used to having any large amounts of money and hoarded it like a modern-day Ebeneezer Scrooge.

Now, Sephiroth grew up in a lab. Everything a normal person would have had to put on their "To Do" list was already done for him, and it didn't usually occur to him that he might need to actually go out and _buy_ things, save for rare strokes of genius.

And this, dear friends, is where we come to the point of all this excess explanation. A few days ago on a mission, Sephiroth inadvertently managed to get momentarily distracted while in the midst of a ferocious battle with a bandersnatch. In that split second his concentration was diverted, the beast's claws shredded his left boot to pieces. The general insisted that the damage wasn't fatal and a new pair wasn't necessary, but even Angeal was shaking his head. After all, the bloody _poster boy_ of the entire SOLDIER organization couldn't go around looking like he'd found one of his shoes in the slums, now could he?

Returning to the matter at hand, that is Sephiroth frowning in case you've forgotten, you still might not understand why he is so unhappy about this turn of events. After all, his old boots were getting rather worn down.

Like, _really_ worn down.

And it would only make sense that he would eventually be forced to get new ones, with or without the help of the bandersnatch. So just what on _Gaia_ was the general so distressed about?

Letting out a sigh heavy enough to crush a couple infantrymen, Sephiroth stood up.

_Squeak!_

He winced at the noise, then lifted his left foot to take a step.

_Squeak!_

Right foot.

_Squeak!_

Left foot.

_Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!_

All the way to his bedroom door.

Sephiroth balled up his fists and attempted using laser-vision—which he didn't have—to fry his boots. Why, oh _why_ did they have to squeak? Didn't they know they were now the property of a SOLDIER First? Didn't they realize how difficult it was to be intimidating when every time he moved, he sounded like he was stepping on mice?

_Squeak!_

Apparently not.

* * *

><p>Reno froze when the elevator suddenly ground to a halt, millimeters away from taking another drag of his cigarette. It had been made very clear to him that if he got caught smoking in the elevators again he would spend the rest of his life taking the stairs. And you didn't even want to <em>know<em> which floor the Turks were on.

Panicking, the redhead hid the burning thing behind his back as the doors slid open. He relaxed marginally when Professor Hojo strode in, face nearly smashed up against the clipboard he was holding.

_Idiot needs a stronger prescription_, Reno noted when the scientist squinted behind his already-thick glasses.

Obviously this wouldn't be too much of a problem, provided Hojo didn't stay on the elevator too long. Then again, he could always pass the smoke off as coming from a fire. Hojo would believe that.

Were he not in a public elevator hiding incriminating evidence behind his back, Reno would most definitely have done a victory dance for this remarkable display of Turk intuition.

The doors began to slide closed, but mere inches away from being shut, a black-gloved hand prevented it from completing its task. Reno's face paled significantly as Sephiroth stepped in. He might as well give up and start doing squats right there.

53 floors. Every day. For the rest of his life.

So consumed by this impending doom was he that he missed Sephiroth's weird expression when his eye started twitching. And Reno _lived_ for Sephiroth's funny faces. They were a substantial part of his income.

"Professor," the general greeted with a curt nod. "Reno."

_I gotta do something. Think fast, Reno!_ Glancing around the cramped metal box provided him no insight as to how to get rid of his cigarette, though. _They really oughta put waste recepticals in these things._

And suddenly, he had the answer.

Ever so slowly, Reno began to inch closer to Hojo. Feigning interest in whatever was on the man's clipboard, Reno waited until he was nearly brushing his side and—

_"AH-CHOOO!"_

—dropped the remains of the cigarette into the large pocket of Hojo's lab coat.

_Problem solved._

A few fake-sniffles and nose rubs later, Reno returned to his corner feeling much better about the whole situation. Soon he noticed a black spot on the white fabric begin to grow. The elevator shuddered to a halt and Professor Hojo stepped out into the hallway, smoke trailing after him.

_Drat. Why does Sephiroth have to be in here? _Reno shot the offending man a glare. _This moment of triumph deserves celebration, yo._

Oh well. Happy dances could wait until—

_Squernk!_

Reno did a doublet-take at Sephiroth. He must've heard wrong. It was impossible. His video camera was at home, ergo this could _not_ have just happened.

_Squiiik!_

The Turk fought the urge to point and stare.

Did GENERAL SEPHIROTH just _FART?_

_TWICE?_

Reno immediately began to mentally prepare himself for the imminent apocalypse. And while he waited for his heart to start back up, Sephiroth remained passive as always. Honestly, how much of an estimate could he ask for this piece of information? And who should he sell it too? Wutai? The Silver Elite? _Genesis?_

As Reno was debating his chances of survival were he to pay Commander Rhapsodos a visit versus one to the deranged chairlady of Sephiroth's fan club, the elevator chimed and the doors slid apart. Not bothering to look if he was even on the right floor, Reno bolted into the hallway and didn't stop running until he was safely barricaded in his office.

And then our hero broke down into a massive fit of hysterics.

* * *

><p>For the third time that day, Cloud found himself face-down on the training room floor. The other cadets thundered past without a second glance; by now they were quite used to leaving the blond behind. He rolled over and sat up, reaching down to retie is boots. <em>Again.<em>

Just as he finished the fourth knot on his left shoe, a pair of tall, very laceless boots half-shrouded by red leather appeared in front of him. He looked up and a gloved hand was shoved in his face. Allowing himself to be pulled to his feet, Cloud spent a few awkward moments trying to not meet his superior officer's gaze.

"Having _trouble_, cadet?"

"I know, I'm the most pathetic excuse for a ShinRa infantryman you've ever seen. You don't need to rub it in."

Laughing, Genesis rolled his eyes. "It's not _that _bad. You just seem to be cursed with ill-fitting footwear."

"Stop making fun of me," Cloud pouted, clenching his fists at his sides.

The commander ruffled his hair, to which Cloud responded by swatting the offending hand away. Genesis grinned. "Has anyone ever told you you're cute when you're mad?"

"Has anyone ever told _you_ that you're an idiot?"

Ordinarily, anyone who offered such a grotesque insult to Commander Rhapsodos was blown through the opposite wall via giant fireball. However, in this case, the redhead simply crossed his arms and stuck his tongue out. "Takes one to know one," he said.

Being friends with Commander Rhapsodos certainly had its advantages, Cloud found, because formulating his next plan of attack was a cinch. Blinking several times to pull the tears closer, Cloud lowered his head and sniffled. A few trembles of the bottom lip completed the maneuver, and he snuck a glance to see Genesis' somewhat pained expression. Inwardly, Cloud cackled evilly. One more bat of his eyelashes sent the first tear down his cheek, aaaand...

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry," Genesis sighed, throwing an arm around Cloud's shoulders and leading him towards the training room door. "_What_ happened to your boots _this_ time?"

Genesis was undoubtedly the most talented materia user on the face of the Planet, and was famous for his affinity to fire. His swordsmanship was nearly on par with Sephiroth's, making him a deadly melee enemy as well. There were only two attacks which he was _not_ and never _would be_ immune to: the 'Kicked Puppy' and the 'Drenched Kitten.'

These devastating attacks were the reasons why Zack had been loaned a leather-bound copy of _LOVELESS_ and why Cloud had wandered through the halls wearing a certain red-leather coat for three days.

"The other ones had holes in them," Cloud explained, pointing to his shoes, "but these ones won't stay tied. I've tried all two-hundred-thirty-seven knots I know and none of them have worked."

Genesis gaped at him in mild astonishment. "How on _Gaia_ do you know that many knots?"

"Chocobo Scouts," Cloud shrugged. "I also know how to waterproof cardboard for the use of a tent and fit two weeks' worth of clothes into a standard issue backpack."

"Remind me to call you next time Angeal wants to go camping. Now, do you prefer Velcro or zippers?"

"Zippers. With my luck, I'd end up Velcroing my feet together."

* * *

><p>"Er, Zack?"<p>

SOLDIER Second Class Zack Fair glanced over his shoulder to see Reno hovering behind him with a confused look on his face. "Can I help you?"

"Uh, shouldn't I be the one asking that, yo?" The Turk crouched down beside Zack. "Do I wanna know what happened here?"

"The bottoms of my boots melted to the floor."

"And _how_ did you manage that?"

"Fira bounced off Wall."

Reno facepalmed. "Why were you even messing with your materia in the middle of the hallway?" He quickly held a hand out when Zack opened his mouth. "Forget I asked. I assume that's why your clothes are burnt?"

Sighing, Zack gazed wistfully at his ruined shoes. "Genesis makes it look so much easier than it is."

"Look, yo, if they had materia that barked and wagged its tail, you'd be a master too."

"Ha ha, very funny," Zack said drily. "Are you going to help me get rid of these before Sephiroth comes along or not?"

At the mention of the general, Reno chuckled. "Sure, sure, yo..."

Zack arched an eyebrow. "What's with you?"

"Nothin'."

"It's never 'nothin' with you."

"Alright, alright..." Reno glanced around in a rather conspiratorial manner, even though the hallway was clearly empty. "But you gotta promise not ta _tell_ anyone, got it, yo?"

"Why Reno," Zack gasped, feigning shock, "don't you trust me?"

"Shut up now and I _might_ not tell Angeal about this."

Zack's hands flew to his mouth. Eyes going wide as dinner plates, he nodded hastily. It wasn't very common knowledge, but Zack Fair actually _could_ take a hint.

"Are you ready for this, yo?"

Eager blinking was his response.

"Okay... here goes..."

Zack chewed on his glove.

"Sephiroth..."

A few of the circuits in Zack's brain exploded in anticipation.

"..._farts._"

"HOLY. CHEESE BALLS." Zack's jaw slammed straight down to the ground floor. "BACK. UP. THE. TRUCK."

There were no words to describe how astronomical this discovery was. Was Reno aware that this could change the course of the universe as they knew it? Zack wasn't sure. In fact he wasn't even sure _why_ it would trigger the end of the world, but it wasn't like Zack to dwell on the things he didn't understand.

The two then proceeded to discuss how to go about setting up cameras in Sephiroth's apartment without getting kicked out of ShinRa while using Zack's sword to try and chisel his boots up from the floor.

* * *

><p><em>Squeak! Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!<em>

Sephiroth was ready to kill something.

Preferably something small and innocent that he could stab over and over while laughing maniacally as it died. Something that _squeaked_. Perhaps he should pay Hojo a visit.

Gripping Masamune's handle so tightly it creaked in protest, Sephiroth stormed towards his office with every intention to remain there for the rest of the day. He'd already spent the morning traipsing back and forth to attend meetings and had gotten more attention than he would have liked. Scarlet kept giggling at him and Heidegger started mumbling something about beans and stood as far away as possible. Reeve gave him a pitying glance every now and then, and Director Lazard just sighed and rubbed his temples, as if the weight of the world had suddenly become too much to bear.

Of course, the ShinRa higher-ups weren't nearly as afraid of him as they should have been in the first place, so the humiliating squeaks weren't _quite_ so humiliating around them. It was the little clumps of SOLDIERs and infantrymen he ran into in the halls. At first, they would all hop to a stiff salute and tremble in their armor as usual, but once the sound of squeaky leather reached their ears, each and every one of them began to giggle.

Sephiroth glared of course, but a glare was only so effective when your intimidation factor was lessened like that. Even Zack could glare, but his innocent features made it a little more difficult to take him seriously.

The only thing that could make this day worse would be if he ran into—

"Well hello, Sephiroth."

Genesis.

How much trouble would he be in with Angeal if he decked the redhead and ran? Gritting his teeth, Sephiroth approached Genesis with every intention of ruthless murder.

Genesis seemed oblivious to the general's rather scary aura. "Got a mouse in your pocket?" he chuckled. "I didn't know you liked rodents."

"Be quiet," Sephiroth growled.

"Ooh, my apologies General, sir." Genesis lifted his hands in mock remorse. "Are noisy boots a new tactic for battling Wutai? Stab them all while they're rolling on the floor, laughing their asses off?"

A motion off to the side alerted Sephiroth to the presence of a second person. Practically hiding behind Genesis' arm was a little, chocobo-haired kid. His cheeks were stained a light color of pink and a slight smile tugged at his lips. He was kind of adorable, Sephiroth decided, in the way that young children were. Where did Genesis pick this one up?

Hold on; he wore an infantryman uniform. This _child_ was in the army? What was he, twelve? Sephiroth had never been very good at guessing ages. Did they really let people that young in? He would have to speak with President Shinra about that.

"If we really wanted to make them laugh, we'd tie you to a pole and have you recite _LOVELESS_ in the middle of the battlefield."

Genesis looked like he might launch straight into 'hissy fit' mode. "At least I know how to shut up about it," he spat. "Everywhere you go that squeaking will follow you. People will start to wonder if you're turning into a Moogle."

Much to the general's horror, the infantryman suddenly burst out laughing. Covering his mouth, he looked at Sephiroth with wide eyes as his face turned beet red. When giggles overcame him for the second time, he buried his face in Genesis' coat.

Not waiting for any further reactions, Sephiroth stormed off.

Was he worthy of no one's respect anymore?

* * *

><p>Something was nudging him. Genesis was sure of it. He knew he was sure, because he felt the thing stabbing into his side. Why wouldn't it stop poking him? Didn't it know he was trying to sleep? Wait, what if it was some sort of starving, blood-thirsty animal that wanted to rip him into tiny little bits and devour him? The situation was looking more grim by the second.<p>

"Genesis! Hey, Gen, it's me! Wake up!"

_It knows my name! ..Hold on a minute._

He knew that voice...

"Mmph... Cloud?"

"Genesis? Are you awake?"

"No."

"Good, because I _really_ need your help! I've been wallowing in my angst and guilt for the past... seven hours and it's making me really depressed and you need to fix it!"

Reluctantly forcing himself awake, Genesis was met with two enormous blue eyeballs hovering uncomfortably close to his face. "What time is it?"

Cloud frowned and looked over at the nightstand where the clock was. "Two-thirty?"

_Ughhh..._ "You'd _better_ have a good reason for this," he grumbled, sitting up.

"I just feel so _badly, _Genesis. I mean, he was just so sad looking when I started laughing and I feel like a complete jerk for doing it and because I know how awful it was when _you_ laughed at _me_ and I'm not even remotely intimidating, even to the little kids down in the slums, and I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like to have to wander around with people laughing at you like that and I feel like such a jerk because I did and—"

Genesis stared blankly while Cloud still attempted to talk through the hand he'd slapped over the cadet's mouth for a few moments before giving up. "Are you _on_ something, Strife?"

Cloud pulled back the hand and spoke, "I needed to cheer up so I've been eating candy for the past three hours," then replaced the hand.

Removing his hand, Genesis sighed. "You still haven't told me what's wrong with you."

"I haven't? I'm tormented and guilt-ridden because I laughed at Sephiroth today, of course!"

It was one of those moments where Genesis wanted to drop to his knees, clutching _LOLVELESS_ to his chest like it was his lifeline, and scream at the top of his lungs. Even when publicly disgraced, Sephiroth managed to gain sympathy. No one cared when Genesis' favorite can-opener, the only one that worked, went missing, or when Zack tripped him so he'd fall in the mud. Of course, he failed to remember that when things like that happened, he usually just Firaga'd anyone and anything in his path before marathon-sulking, but that wasn't the point. No one felt bad after they laughed at Genesis Rhapsodos.

Well, scratch that. They were usually hospitalized, so that would qualify as 'bad.'

No one felt "tormented and guilt-ridden" after they laughed at Genesis Rhapsodos.

Alright, so maybe Sephiroth did look a little bit down in the dumps when he stalked off, but that was beside the point. It wasn't like Sephiroth had ever taken pity on _Genesis_, so why should he do anything different?

A drop of drool slid out of Cloud's mouth and landed on the bed while he watched Genesis contemplate all of this.

"And what do you want _me_ to do about it?" Genesis finally asked, snapping him back to attention.

"Well, you always help me with _my_ shoe problems," Cloud said, "so I figured you'd know what to do about squeaky ones. After all, you both have kind of the same boots..."

Ah, so Cloud thought he was a footwear expert, eh? Well, perhaps he could play the hero in this situation just this once...

"Alright, I'll do something about it in the morning. Go crash on the couch if you like."

"Thanks, Genesis!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah... No more of this two-in-the-morning stuff though, okay? If it happens more than once people are going to question our relationship."

"The couch. Right."

* * *

><p>Sephiroth woke up with an awful crick in his neck.<p>

Why?

Because he'd fallen asleep in his office. He figured being uncomfortable for the night would be better than having to walk all the way to his room and then all the way back in the morning. Until his boots agreed to stop squeaking, he wasn't leaving his office. Sitting up in his chair, Sephiroth stretched out his sore muscles. He could only hope Lazard didn't need him to do anything strenuous.

And then he noticed a small brown jar in front of him on his desk that hadn't been there before. He picked it up with the intention of examining it, but stopped when he found a scrap of paper underneath.

It read:

_You owe me._

_-Genesis_

Curiosity piqued, Sephiroth read the label on the jar. "Leather Oil."

Reno would have committed suicide for the sickeningly _happy_ expression on the general's face.

He was saved! He wouldn't have to change his name, dye his hair, and defect to Wutai after all! Perhaps he would get Genesis another can-opener to show his appreciation.

Now, if only he could figure out how to use the stuff...

* * *

><p>Reno collapsed at the top of the stairs, panting and out of breath. Sweat soaked through the back of his shirt and he'd had to take his coat off. Unscrewing the cap of his water bottle, he took a long swig.<p>

"Hey, c'mon! We're gonna be late!" Zack urged, hopping from one foot to the other like a hyperactive rabbit.

"Don't care," Reno rasped. "Stupid... SOLDIER enhancements."

Zack stuck out his tongue. "It's your own fault you lit Hojo on fire and they won't let you use the elevator."

Rolling his eyes, Reno struggled back to his feet. "Don't remind me. Hey, I got an idea. How about you carry me?"

"How about not?" Zack called as he bounded up the next flight of stairs. "Only forty-five more stories! I'll race you!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Oh, Reno... :P I hope you enjoyed reading, because I enjoy YOU!

_**RegenesisX**_


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